#FarcicalFriday — Bonsai Elephants

FarcicalFriday — Bonsai Elephants

The following dialogue is rated ADULT because kids aren’t that stupid.

A: “So, what do you think, Dave?”

B: “To what?”

A: “My elephant.”

B: “It’s a Chihuahua.”

A: “I know why you’d say that. It’s an easy mistake to make.”

B: “Because it’s true?”

A: “Because of the ears.”

B: “Ah. Where’s its trunk then?”

A: “You have to trim them back. If you don’t, they end up tripping over them.”

B: “Makes sense when you say it like that.”

A: “Yeah.”

B: “I was in fact being sarcastic.”

A: “There’s no need for that! I’ve wanted one of these for years, I was just too embarrassed to tell anyone until I saw them in the pet shop.”

B: “Under a sign that said Chihuahuas for sale.

A: “No! Under a sign that said Bonsai Elephants for sale.

B: “Did the salesman laugh when you bought it?”

A: “Of course not. He was very good as a matter of fact.”

B: “Dare I ask how much it cost?”

A: “You pay by the ounce.”

B: “And little…”

A: “Jimmy. His name’s Jimmy.”

B: “…Jimmy weighed?”

A: “Three tonnes.”

B: “You’ve lost it, pal. That little crapstick can’t weigh more than a few pounds or you wouldn’t be able to carrying him.”

A: “You have to be tested to see if you’re strong enough to handle one.”

B: “Don’t tell me, you have to be able to lift the salesman.”

A: “Wow, you do not know your stuff.”

B: “Nope. I was in fact being sarcastic again.”

A: “Say what you like. Jimmy loves me and I love him. Even people that don’t like him at first soon do.”

B: “Even Laura?”

A: “Yep. She takes him to bed and loves him and pets him and strokes him to sleep. He licks her all over and whimpers. They make quite the pair.”

B: “I bet.”

A: “She does have one problem, though.”

B: “Go on.”

A: “The trunk.”

B: “Nose.”

A: “Whatever. She doesn’t want me to trim it, which’ll cause problems as he gets older and it grows thick and long.”

B: “I see. Maybe she’d be better off with another pet.”

A: “You think!”

B: “Yeah. Send her round to my house, I’ll introduce her to my anaconda.”

A: “No need, she’s already seen it. She said you’re an idiot because it’s really just a worm. See ya.”

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