The Teacup Keep-up Farce.

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“The most fun I’ve ever had with a teacup was kicking one up in the air like a football for as long as I could.”

“A teacup?”

“Yes, a teacup.”

“How many keep-ups did you manage?”

“How many what?”

“Keep-ups. That’s what they call it when you keep a football in the air. I presume it’s the same for a teacup.”

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay. So?”

“So what?”

“It’s a struggle today, isn’t it?”

“Every day is a struggle.”

“That’s life.”

“S’ppose.”

“Makes you want to kick a teacup up in the air.”

“Exactly! That’s exactly it. You just want to boot the hell out of it.”

“Which brings us nicely back full-circle.”

“It does.”

“So, just how many teacup keep-ups did you manage?”

“One, then it smashed.”

“And that’s the end of another sparkling conversation.”

“It was the end of my drink, too.”

“You mean, you didn’t empty the teacup first.”

“No.”

“Why the hell not?”

“I didn’t have time, I was kicking it at a seagull.”

“I thought you said you was trying to keep it up in the air?”

“I was. The seagull was flapping overhead trying to snatch my sandwich. I hoped to keep kicking the teacup in the air to scare it off.”

“Geez! It must’ve really wanted that sandwich.”

“Yeah, it must’ve.”

“What was in it?”

“Seagull chicks.”

“You what!”

“Honest. They’re full of protein. I think I should’ve cooked them first though.”

“Let me get this straight, you were kicking a teacup at a seagull that was trying to rescue its chicks from a seagull sandwich.”

“That’s right.”

“Dare I ask where?”

“You can ask.”

“Then where?”

“Your back garden.”

“When?”

“Last Friday. They were squawking like mad and putting me off. So, I went up on the roof to shut them up, then brought them back down for a snack.”

“But I was at work last Friday!”

“Your wife wasn’t.”

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