Of Rats and Monkeys

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I've just spent most of a nice long walk to the coffee shop this beautiful Sunday morning explaining my theory of why I believe my wife a monkey. As you can imagine, she was enthralled. From the Darwinian explanation of the opposable thumb, hers always getting caught in my trouser pocket when we hold hands, (this wouldn't happen if I held hands with a tiger or an elephant) to the Planet of the Apes noises she makes when sleeping. The similarities are remarkable and irrefutable. Unfortunately for me, evolution has trumped the male of the species (that's me) because she's got the coffee money. I'm beginning to wish my theory was wrong, but I've already written the scientific papers as proven by this. Looks like I'm going to be drinking from the drainage ditch again. I wonder if this makes me a rat?

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21 thoughts on “Of Rats and Monkeys

  1. It is a well known fact that the female of the species is far superior, despite the geographical dyslexia. Males, on the other hand, of which you are such specimen, are not as evolved despite their ability to fathom maps and direction – hence you find yourself in the drains πŸ™‚

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