The Creeping Terror 

A True Story From My Writing Life

Stardate: 18/07/2017 Richard’s front room.

It began as a tingling that I quickly dismissed as nothing. The tingling continued, so I brushed myself down and carried on typing. A little later, I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye. ‘Pft!’ I huffed, must be going crazy. It happened again. Something black was moving. Ordinarily, I’d have jumped up and wrestled the lion or whatever it was, but I’ve had trouble with my eyes this last week, so dismissed it as wobbly-vision. 

When I felt something crawling up my shorts, I took more decisive action. I placed my iPad to one side, cool as a cucumber, honest, then leapt up. A spider fell out of my shorts and legged it under my writing chair before I could get him. I was not pleased. I like my writing chair and didn’t/don’t want to move. So, the waiting game is on. Who’ll blink first? Who’ll win this war of attrition? And most of all, should I put my trousers on? These are just some of the questions I shall try to answer when I next update you on THE CREEPING TERROR!

Disclaimer: The above image may or may not be an accurate representation of my foe. 

31 thoughts on “The Creeping Terror 

  1. Stardate memo 18.7.2017: Raili’s writing room.
    Spiders are friendly – honest 🙂 But if you must be rid of it, put on your pants, get a sheet of thin cardboard or paper and a glass. Yes. A glass. Both items are necessary. Creep up on the unsuspecting critter. Slap the glass over it neatly trapping it inside – pressure point here is to trap the spider, not squash it flat. That’s bad karma. It could return to haunt the insides of your shorts. Now the tricky bit is to lift the glass up just enough to slide the paper under it, neatly imprisoning it. Gently pick it up without dislodging the paper. Walk – not run – outside and set it free. You may want to practice the glass bit. And leave a door open or have someone on standby to assist. Good luck – may The Force be with you.

      1. Not really. I live in a cabin on the edge of the woods and I’ve got used to sharing my home with all sorts of critters. I do get tired of the cobwebs, though – as soon as I’ve knocked one down, they’re busy building another one in the same place. There is a positive, though – they helped inspire my kids’ book ‘The Slapstyx’ which features goblins who mess up peoples’ houses! (Sorry – couldn’t resist shameless plug)

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