Honest! I’m not Lion.

“You look shattered.”

“I am.”

“Bad night?”

“Aren’t they all? Life doesn’t get any easier when you close your eyes.”



“Bothering you?”

“Just a bit.”

“What is it you do?”

“I’m a lion tamer.”

“Lion tamer my ****!”

“No, really.”


“There’s not much call for us these days. There’s no more circuses, no safari parks, no great exhibitions, nothing. Times are hard.”

“Sure are. If we’re feeling the pinch, you must be.”

“Yup. It’s really beginning to bite.”

Author’s Note: Believe it or not, this is actually an almost true story from when I worked in retail. The smallest, meekest guy you could ever meet had this conversation with me. He used to wear a black suit at all times and a bowler hat. I thought he was talking out of it (as we say here) and not until an older and very honest colleague of mine confirmed his by then retired job, did I believe him. 

Funny what you think about when you’re having your morning coffee.


On The Social Etiquettes of Conversation.

It is not that I am disinterested just less interested than if I was. I’m sorry if you find this a flimflam answer, but it is the truth and I am a truthful man, apart from when I’m not. That, however, is at my own discretion. I can assure you, if you are able to pique my interest, it shall remain so right up until the point where it is not. I hope you find this reassuring. If you don’t, please don’t worry as it is said more for my benefit than your own. It is due to the flaws in my character that I must conclude this ramble and no direct fault of your own, as I’m already at the point of suicidal boredom. Yet social etiquette demands I drag out this sermon, and so I do. I would like to blame this on you for an inability to keep me entertained, to focus my will, but I’ve forgotten your name and am therefore ad-libbing until I might address you directly on its reoccurrence. It’s coming… No it’s not. I can’t. It’s gone. I’m off.