Lost Words Gone

Wandering in starless circles
Pull the sheets up
Take a breath
Plunge into sweet oblivion, again
And let the blood run freely
Pool in patches of what I was
Rivulets of a lesser life
Crimson reminders unseen in the dark
Blacker than black this ex-me
Hate running deeper in the night
Eyes screw up tighter, lock
Don't wake
I don't want to wake
I am awake
To this lie
To this waste of lost words gone
And the reality
That I never slept at all




I loved her with a passion that tore at my soul. Whenever I imagined those deep, hazel eyes it felt like my skin had snagged on a briar and wouldn’t let go. To have torn at it would have meant tearing at me and I’d already lost too much of myself. I shredded by the day, my blood like paint splattering the walls.

That’s why when the letterbox flapped open like a gaping fish and a small, white envelope soaked in her unmistakable perfume dropped to the floor, I opened it in a flash. My eyes shot past the actual words to the return address, hope emblazoned in my eyes, on my heart, in my dreams. Undisclosed, it read. The briars dug deep.

Strange / Stranger

I feel you in the stinging breeze, little snaps of hell
Tickling the flesh from my exposed arms
Inveigling your way through the slices in my jeans
I would escape you if I could, run and never look back
But like dawn sneaking up on night, you’d find me
I know that now, though it breaks my heart
And shreds the thing that writhes within
It was a soul once, an entity I called myself
A darker shade of me I found comforting
Now, it just sloshes in midnight pools of melted slate
Gathering in places I’d rather have lost
You’ve done this to me, broken and torn
But I can only ever seem to blame myself
Strange, but I suppose there’s stranger

NB: I wrote this whilst listening to Placebo…does it show?

The Hurt

In the line of hurt
No bullet to the brain
Eased into a corner
I’m under fire again

Swiped aside like water
I swim a crimson sea
An ocean in my eyes
I’m drowning, let me be

Hunted like a rabbit
Or lion to be shot
Praying for an ending
This life for me is not

An innocent reflection
I see myself in pain
And wonder if they liked me
When first they said my name

Dark Desires

Carve my name across your heart

The blade so deep to tear apart

To split in twain in crimson kiss

The agony of knowing bliss

Where no stitch, nor recompense

Will cure the love that drains out hence

Nor tourniquet, or plaster aid

This loveless bed that you have made

And I shall sit and in deepest dark

Your morning call, your sunrise lark

And shout and ball and swear on back

Our love condemned to etched on hack

There Is…

There are…days

Days when eyes feel sore

World less lit than should

They lay heavy on the soul

There are…hours

Segmented fractions of day

Each holding a section of hurt

Joy seemingly fluttered away

There are…seconds

Tic-toc, tic-toc, won’t stop

The clock hands on repeat

Mind bangs in time to the rhythm 

There are…moments

In truth, that is all there is

Snapshots in time waiting to be strung together

Stitches unravelling, not tightening 

There is…me

Out of time…but aware of it

Out of sync….and unsure if he should be

There is…the dream, a dream

There is

No More Goodbyes

 It cuts
 Barbed wire
 Drawn over flesh
 Yet, I clutch
 Won’t let go
 Can’t let go
 As it tears
 My soul serrated
 The pain
 An agony
 I know
 The hurt
 A familiar foe
 Drives me
 Holds me
 Controls me
 But I know
 To grit teeth
 In vicelike jaw
 Narrow eyes
 In hollow sockets
 And wait
 And hope
 And pray
 Just might
 Come back
 And won’t say