She wept. I wept. Dog barked.
Empty bowl: a dog barks somewhere.
When our dog flew out of the window on gossamer wings, I dropped my spoon in my breakfast. He didn't even bark a goodbye. I shot outside and stared as he showed off by doing several somersaults amongst the rain clouds. Mongrels! You never knew what they were crossed with.
When the screen shattered, three months of torturous work splintering into hundreds of tiny pieces, she looked my way and glared.
"I'm sorry, love," I said.
"He'd evolved," she growled.
"He was the wrong colour, anyway."
"How about I get you a real one?"
"Will he break?"
"One day, perhaps."
She stared at the pavement, then me, "Can I have a purple one with yellow spots?"
Electronic pets had a lot to answer for!
“Even took my dog: Shih Tzu!”
In Winter Stills
There is a path off a road off a hillside off a dream, a path where all the silent ones go to sleep. I followed it once without care for myself. This is where it led.
The snow fell in relentless cascades obliterating my footprints so I might’ve stepped through a thickening fog that congealed around my feet. I would’ve said I knew the way home with my eyes shut, Sooty, my dog, barking at my heels, the same. Neither of us felt the incline nor subsequent slope. Neither of us realised we stepped from grass to mud to asphalt and back again. All was deep snow, so deep, I picked Sooty up in my arms and ploughed a lone furrow through that white onslaught. It affected us that coldest of days, my dog in my arms and my hopes in his senses.
We came across them as shadows on the road to limbo, the true source of the endless snow. They stood there as indifferent shapes against an indifferent background, as unaware of what I was to them, as they were to me. The only definite in that scene was the cases they held in smudged hands, the sums of all their endeavours packaged to be carted away into the forever.
I stared at them for the longest time unafraid, for they meant me no evil, one can tell such things when they’re forced upon them. They appraised me, wondered if to invite me on their march to another place, a silent place. I might’ve gone with them too, fallen succour to their impartial gesturing if Sooty had not growled his discontent.
They vanished into the snow as though enveloped by an avalanche that never quite reached my feet. They disappeared into infinity taking everything they’d been with them. I already cradled my everything in tiring arms, so turned around and made my way home.
I never reached it, but still I try.
FarcicalFriday — Bonsai Elephants
The following dialogue is rated ADULT because kids aren’t that stupid.
A: “So, what do you think, Dave?”
B: “To what?”
A: “My elephant.”
B: “It’s a Chihuahua.”
A: “I know why you’d say that. It’s an easy mistake to make.”
B: “Because it’s true?”
A: “Because of the ears.”
B: “Ah. Where’s its trunk then?”
A: “You have to trim them back. If you don’t, they end up tripping over them.”
B: “Makes sense when you say it like that.”
B: “I was in fact being sarcastic.”
A: “There’s no need for that! I’ve wanted one of these for years, I was just too embarrassed to tell anyone until I saw them in the pet shop.”
B: “Under a sign that said Chihuahuas for sale.”
A: “No! Under a sign that said Bonsai Elephants for sale.”
B: “Did the salesman laugh when you bought it?”
A: “Of course not. He was very good as a matter of fact.”
B: “Dare I ask how much it cost?”
A: “You pay by the ounce.”
B: “And little…”
A: “Jimmy. His name’s Jimmy.”
B: “…Jimmy weighed?”
A: “Three tonnes.”
B: “You’ve lost it, pal. That little crapstick can’t weigh more than a few pounds or you wouldn’t be able to carrying him.”
A: “You have to be tested to see if you’re strong enough to handle one.”
B: “Don’t tell me, you have to be able to lift the salesman.”
A: “Wow, you do not know your stuff.”
B: “Nope. I was in fact being sarcastic again.”
A: “Say what you like. Jimmy loves me and I love him. Even people that don’t like him at first soon do.”
B: “Even Laura?”
A: “Yep. She takes him to bed and loves him and pets him and strokes him to sleep. He licks her all over and whimpers. They make quite the pair.”
B: “I bet.”
A: “She does have one problem, though.”
B: “Go on.”
A: “The trunk.”
A: “Whatever. She doesn’t want me to trim it, which’ll cause problems as he gets older and it grows thick and long.”
B: “I see. Maybe she’d be better off with another pet.”
A: “You think!”
B: “Yeah. Send her round to my house, I’ll introduce her to my anaconda.”
A: “No need, she’s already seen it. She said you’re an idiot because it’s really just a worm. See ya.”
His basket’s still empty, leash limp.
Dog on the doorstep. Windows boarded.