A little girl called Goldilocks
Did stumble on a house
The smell of porridge struck her
Her hunger it would douse
So in she went without a thought
To who could be inside
And there on the table
The porridge she eye-spied
So impolite, that little girl
She scoffed it down in one
Then sent off for a wander
Around the house for fun
She nosied here, she nosied there
She snooped about the place
Then Goldilocks grew tired
And had needs to rest her face
So up to bed she did retire
Without a thought to who
May actually be the owner
Of the house, the bed, and loo
Unfortunately for Goldilocks
She didn’t lock the door
And into house a bear did strut
Porridge, he did adore
But found it gone and sniffed a treat
The bear he walked upstairs
Where peeping out from blankets
A pile of golden hairs
The Kodiak took early lunch
On the girl who’d broken in
To house, and food, and bed
That she taken as a sin
(Image courtesy of Kittybaka-chan on deviantart.com)
Written for and inspired by Kimberly. Check out her great blog.
How Karen loved those red shoes
Disobeyed her adopted mother
Wore them always to church
Wore them whilst her mother took ill
Even wore them to her parent’s funeral
Showed them off to a passing soldier
And as if by magic, Karen danced
She pirouetted, kicked, sashayed
Tore through streets, lanes, pastures
Whirled over bridges, farms, battlefields
Span until her toes bled, then feet, then legs
Danced until an axe-man lopped her ankles off
Wooden feet the girl had made
But red shoes danced on, hindered
Until, at last, humbled girl, turned to God
He struck her down, from love
And to Heaven she’s lifted and awakened
As feet were back in the red shoes
And Karen danced on, and on, and down
She dances there still
(Image courtesy dance.net)
She hung around those tidal shores
Her motto, ‘what’s mine is yours.’
Novelty was her flapping tail
That made her look like tiny whale.
The sailors thought her quite the catch
Until one day Ariel met her match.
An absent wish saw her sprout legs!
No longer Mer, but girl instead.
She tried to hide this ruinous wish
By hiding legs in water, like fish.
But pretty soon the word got round
And Legged Mermaid went to ground.
Yet, one fine day a Prince came by,
And legs of girl did catch his eye.
But as she thought she’d snagged a royal
The ocean did begin to roil.
Out of sea did Ursula rise
To see the mermaid, such surprise!
And in her anger set a storm
As Ariel’s tail returned, she forlorn.
So back to sea mermaid did return,
And previous wage that she did earn.
(Image courtesy of annienaseem on deviantart.com)
You’d think them lost in the wood,
But Hansel and Gretel were misunderstood.
Nasty little children were they,
Not wanting to sing and play.
Instead, they pried on oldest folk,
Lured them in whilst high on coke.
Their aim to rob, then go to pub;
They’d even steal the old folks grub!
But bittern off one too many,
As into granny’s home that looked so funny.
Made of treats and candy canes
The evil two had sweets on brains.
But when they stepped into the house
And made as though to start a rout,
The elderly lady, who was a hag,
Trapped them in a giant bag.
Dragged, then to the cooking pot,
Those terrible two found it so hot.
And ate them did that lady Mage
With lots of veg and pinch of sage.
Hansel and Gretel’s reign of terror
Was ended very much for the better.
The old folks could feel safe again
Although the witch got stomach pain.
For even in death those terrible two
Managed to spoil that perfect stew.
(Image courtesy of Nonko on deviantart.com)
Twisted, little, ugly man,
Hold to ransom girl if can.
Says that he will grant her wish;
Spin gold from straw to grant her this.
Miller’s girl, she marries King,
As imp spins gold just for him.
But pay she does too high a price,
As steal her son this is his vice.
Says that if his name she guesses
Her son give back, the girl it vexes.
But trick him good, she stumbles on,
A man that knew it all along.
Rumplestiltlskin! She shouts out loud,
As imp does turn and snarl at crowd.
Such anger rises up from him,
Bestial rage of evil sins!
He stamps right foot as madness rears,
And up to knee it disappears.
So angry imp, he pulls and screams,
Until the left comes apart at seams.
The tiny man, he splits in twain,
And all because they guessed his name.
Justice served on nastiest imp:
Rumplestiltskin now dead and limp.
(Image courtesy of grundalug on deviantart.com)
In prick of finger world did cease,
And land drew breath, eternal peace.
Castle walls accosted by thorns
Left turrets peeking, so forlorn.
Kingdom slept in want of knight
To banish gloom and conquer night.
And came he did and battled through
The briar and spikes to get to you.
When it came to planted kiss
Princess awoke from infinite bliss.
Rage and fume she did at knight
And two of them did start to fight.
Tumble, spin, fist and flail
That knight had not found holy grail.
So in defence he took her head,
And that’s why Kingdom remains quite dead.
(Image courtesy of Reine-Haru on deviantart.com)
Once upon a long ago
A child stalked the woods,
Hunting all the timberwolves,
For them, it was no good.
They ran at sight of little girl
Donned in blood-red hood,
Because their parents told them too,
The child cared less than should.
She’d call to them in honeyed tones,
Coax them through the woods,
Then pull out axe to kill them with,
Believe, it was no dud.
Until one wolf he took disguise
To trick red riding hood.
Her grandma was his face of choice,
And laid he did, not stood.
The girl did waltz into the room
Her hands coated in blood,
And slew the wolf without a thought
You’d think she’d misunderstood.
But know you all the girl was bad;
Kill us all if she could!
Be wolf, or man, or family
She’d create a killing flood.
And still she stalks that ancient realm,
That reddest of all woods,
Draped in cape of crimson hue
That damned red riding hood.
(Image courtesy of dizzyclown on deviantart.com)