So that’s his game! The old man sat there with a brick for a phone pressed to his hairy ear. He squinted, strained to hear whoever he talked with, mouthed spittle-infused words. Oh, he was good. Really good. But it was an obvious ruse. He turned and gave me that glassy-eyed look only the elderly […]
￼ If it was to pass without incident or event, without anger or altercation, I had to stay calm. There were no awards for foolishness, nor unprovable bravado. In this game of life and death decisions, I had to remain cool, unbothered, frosty. "One lemon muffin please." Her words cut through my misting, morning torpor […]
￼ The curative properties of chocolate were a theory I'd been working on for some time. I designed a test to prove that its effects were permanent and not an occasional fluke. That test involved my mouth. Later, it involved my wife's fist in said mouth. Yes, the chocolate was hers.
￼ The Phoenix hatched from an egg I threw in the fire. I held it in my hand as its heat intensified until I couldn’t stand it anymore. Out it popped, a Phoenix. I’d swapped the egg with an old woman at work who had black teeth and a pointed hat. I didn’t know her, […]
Author’s Note: I wrote this really quickly because I was feeling that way out. Perkins always cheers me up. Poor old Perkin Perkins, he of the forgettable name, has found a new employer. The gentlemen asks far too many questions, however, and Perkins just isn’t in the mood. “What the hell do you think you’re […]
She wrote goodbye with a glitter pen on a cereal box flap, I don't recall if it was Cornflakes or Rice Krispies, nor if it matters. I wasn't mad at her leaving, glad if anything, just angry the box wouldn't close anymore. It's funny what you remember when you're hungry.