So that’s his game! The old man sat there with a brick for a phone pressed to his hairy ear. He squinted, strained to hear whoever he talked with, mouthed spittle-infused words. Oh, he was good. Really good. But it was an obvious ruse. He turned and gave me that glassy-eyed look only the elderly […]
“Call me old-fashioned but I like my pants clean, pressed and swishing.” “You’re old-fashioned.” “Thanks.” “You’re very welcome, gramps.” “There’s nothing wrong with looking and feeling smart.” “And there wasn’t in the seventies, either, eh?” “Cheeky sod.” “Look, I’m telling you this as your friend, purple velour pants and an orange crinoline shirt’s only gonna […]
Through mists and madness, they came. Preceded by a blazing streak of crimson, they curled through the night like blood under dark, transparent skin, their master’s booming battle cry filling the void. I feared then. I’m not proud of my shame, but a truth is a truth and quivering lips go undisguised. Sheer terror took […]
The elefrump flicked its long, bulbous nose, swiped at a monkling that teased it with a bullrush, missed, and stamped its massive, hairy feet. If ever a creature regretted wearing a one-piece bathing suit decorated with daffodils, it was the elefrump. Nothing else had fit! The poor creature went red with embarrassment. Sick of being […]
50 Word Stories – Outfoxed “Did you see that fox watching the chickens?” “No, mum.” “He was licking his lips.” “Sorry.” “Is that all you’ve got to say? He could ruin us, you know!” “He won’t.” “Oh, do explain.” “He’s full.” “What do you mean, he’s full?” “I fed him dad’s dinner an hour ago.”
The Dilemma We found there to be an unlimited amount of time and consideration put into their dilemma. The tribespeople talked amongst themselves in whatever language it was, shook their spears and shared some strange, green smoke emitting pipe. After two or three hours, they came to a decision: They ate us.
Free squirrels: Previous owner’s gone nuts.
Bring and buy sale: No renting.
Broken whistle: I need a pea.
Submarine for sale: Business going under.