We tumbled, drifted, tumbled again
Just us against the wind,
You and I, me and you,
Leaves in a tempest,
Feathers on the wing;
Watching our lives pass
With smiles on our faces
Never wondering when we’d land,
Nor if there we’d settle
Like snowflakes made snow,
Blanketing the bad world
So all we’d know was truths.
A simple state of loving,
Our essence pooled together,
As eternal, we’d remain.
Our lives stretched from birth to death and back again. Everything we’d ever been and would be unravelled like silly string shot from a can. A painless separation, my companions drifted away as if lost in a waking dream; I would never see them again. Our ship collapsed into the atoms it had sprung from to sail infinity forever, and I was left abandoned.
A euphoria took me akin to the day of my birth, an overwhelming joy. And that was when it hit me.
Everything. It was everything. It wasn’t just a day at the beach as a six-year-old, a night of sticky touches twelve years later, nor that first kiss of married life years later still, I remembered everything. Most of all, I remembered the love of a mother who sealed me in a cocoon of life-giving water. I saw the light through her skin, felt the warmth from her heart, her hand close to my forehead. Everything. Yes, everything, and with not a second in between.
To Be Continued…
We knew them as black holes. One such universal behemoth was bad, two, doubly, a wall of them, horrific. The great beasts sucked the colour from the sky like paint pots poured down multiple drains. The holes in space and time even took those angelic voices, wrenched them from the fabric of everything and stole them away.
I watched from the prow disbelieving, my friends and fellow crew on their knees. To have travelled so far for nothing cut deep. To have breached science and belief, that barrier between, only to falter when on the point of that final discovery hurt more than any physical pain. But pain was one thing mankind had learnt from.
I signalled for the others to stand, to meet our doom with pride. Stand, they did. Chins aloft, eyes forward, we whipped around and around and around, and then in. If God had meant for us to break on the point of all knowledge, to have teased and taken, he found an unwilling crew. Or so I tried to tell myself as everything stretched beyond the beyond and all we were snapped out of existence.
To Be Continued…
Only when silence is broken does one realise it ever there, and so it was for us. The voices swept across our hearts, our very souls and left us in tears. Although there were no figures, no entities to speak of, we sensed them all around. They stroked our schooner’s canvas sails, tickled the ship’s wheel as if they found its non-use amusing. We sailed at their wishes, their choosing and never our own.
The river of stars propelled us along, or the kaleidoscopic universe propelled around us, of which I was uncertain? Yet the distinct feeling of motion existed in that strange, new place and for that we were grateful. To have paused even for a second would’ve broken our dreams, and though we knew them false, that we were amongst our betters now, the risk would’ve shattered our souls.
And so the singing of that celestial host carried us away from humanity, away from ourselves and into somewhere more beautiful.
To Be Continued…
The stars poured from the sky in a twinkling explosion of light in the night. To our left, darkness held sway over the universe. To our right, an even deeper obsidian. Yet in that cascading stream of all that was, had and would be a little of the past we’d created remained. It felt good to sail the rivers of forever knowing something of ourselves helped carry us from one realm to the other, that as one stage closed another opened.
Lulled by the shushing waves of stars, we rocked backwards and forwards in gentle undulations. Infinity soothed a troubled mind, the life I’d left behind becalmed. The rest of the crew looked through different eyes, too, more accepting, less turbulent, their expressions suggesting a shared epiphany. Perhaps that was how we passed through eternity’s curtains without even knowing? One moment darkness, the next, a coruscating rainbow of colour that was no more out of place for all its strangeness than had been the falling stars and midnight beyond them. We were through. But what next?
To Be Continued…
Faceless, I resist the passage of time; the stars made multiplied through my obsidian maw. I see all there has been and all there will be, yet feel nothing. Nothing! Time will do such things to those who fight eternity, who refuse to pass. I do not refuse, I’ve just forgotten how to get there.
Ghosts some call us, others claim shades. I feel a greater affinity to the latter for I still hold some residual atoms of self. Unless they are a dream, of course, which would make me a liar, too.
Inexactitudes, I heard one call us, warped truths. I feel warped pulled in all directions yet hanging by an unbreakable thread to each. This is not me. This is not what I would wish. This is no life for a melancholy soul.
Am I truly dead? it is the question I ask each day. Am I truly no more? my most frequent plea. Someone, somewhere must know the truth, but the road to that somewhere is barred.
So here I shall remain in subtle shades of smoke, drifting, ever drifting, until I drift away.
The Space Between
The space between
Dark blue and black
Differing shades of forever
Where pointing fingers linger
And eyes do blink
The stuff of dreams gathering
Like nocturnal memories
No lights required
Just open minds
Stardust and magic
Little parcels of eternity
Destiny and hope
Children praying for shooting stars
Never has nothing held such value
Here, dwelling in held breaths
I saw Her in the Moon, felt Her in the stars. As night fell each evening, a smothering cocoon of darkness pulling me beneath its obsidian comforts, I took a deep breath and dived into immortality. Every night the same. Every night unwanted.
The bane of forever weighed heavy on my heart. I sought death with the same determination as a seed the light, courted it even. Courage, however, was a trait I lacked, and although a smiling blade would have returned me there, another’s, or my own, the trickle of life running through me refused to succumb. Pathetic, I know, but the truth.
Fate was a fickle mistress. One moment she taunted, next, cheered, leaving the fated to surf her undulating waves alone. My fate began the day She turned me. Only She could ever take that fate away.
I stood on the cliff overlooking the ocean as I was wont to do. The undulating Atlantic soothed my soul, so to speak, and eased my torrid thoughts. I often imagined my lover in those unblemished vistas: Her skin, the polished waters; Her smile, the changeable horizon; Her eyes, the moon and its reflection. A step would have ended my pain. Even I could not have survived the plummet. She knew it. She wanted it.
Her voice came as a midwinter whisper, a tickled goodbye in my ear. I turned, stumbled, fell.
There was no pain, no hurt, no kiss of jagged rocks on ancient flesh, only an impaled farewell.
I died with a smile on my face and Her laughter written across my soul. I didn’t care; it’s what I wanted. It’s what She wanted too, but for different reasons.
Sunrise and sunset
Like candles in a window
Your eyes meeting mine
The light at the end of time
For us it burns eternal
The night drips around me in liquid satin, a perfect black. I can taste its velvety texture, hear its thrumming silence, sense the still. The pause before the final breath, the hush before the breaking storm, darkness slips its fingers around my throat and squeezes with the subtle kindness of a misplaced love. I am choking. I want more.
Waking to dust mites caught in a single beam of gold, I wave the day away. Take me back, I whisper. Let me go. But the sun will not relinquish me; it never does. I pull up the covers and wait.
When you arrive all bloodshot eyes and scimitar smile, the darkness comes with you. This is your world, your eternity, and as I reveal the outline of my eager neck, I dream of it being mine too. I wait. You nod. It is.